THE DEVOUT CATHOLIC~
Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her
husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next
husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies.

At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At last they're finally
together."

A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me Father, but do you
mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?"

"I mean her legs!"
_____________________________
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which
said: "TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00."

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to
remove the sign or go to jail.

Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES."

One of the girls asked the cop, "How come you don't stop them?!"

"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to
religion."

So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign
down and drove off.

The following day found the same cop in the area when he noticed the two
ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an
easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which
now read:

"TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER -- $50.00."
_________________________

SHAVE AND A SHINE~
A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll
have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face and sharpen
the old straight edge while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful
breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a
hotel room."

She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that.

The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the
difference."
She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."
__________________________

NEW SECRETARY~

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George:
"Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in
bed than my wife!"

Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well,
but I still think your wife is better in bed!




Stay Strong~~!!!
IPL

__________________
OBAMA
O one B bad A ass M mistake A America

NO RESOLUTIONS~!! JUST SOLUTIONS~!!
STAY STRONG AND HEALTHY~!

PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY~

http://www.xtremebodybuilding.net/in...referrerid=146

LMFAO Those were great. Thanks

lol more good ones IPL thanks